Dyslexia does not apply to Chavs - they're all just thick as fuck..
So I'm selling my ChavMobile on eBay (I bought it about 3 weeks ago as a cheap thrill to replace my FTO but it proved to be exactly like its owner; a fucking dirty, smelly chav cunt and was fucked from Day 1) and the worst part of it is dealing with a ridiculous amount of inane offers I've been getting off the Chav masses. I've decided that I don't care what excuses chavs in schools give about their learning difficulties, they're all lies and really, they're all just thick as fuck.
Here are some of the gems of literacy I've been getting as "questions":
hi do you have a bye now price
Bye now?? Firstly you can't excuse the cool "text speak" that people seem to deem as acceptable English for questions - it's the same amount of characters. Secondly, eBays instant purchase service is called Buy It Now otherwise it's just called a price. A D- for you...
HIYA I WOOD GIVE YA 150 TODAY
*Shakes head* I would have accepted wud but seriously... WOOD... cunt! D : must try harder...
Ok, let me explain the next one; the guy contacted me to ask if I'd bought it in Southport off someone he knew. So I obviously was intrigued and asked why. This was his response.
cos he a dodgey get e tried to sell it to a friend and i knew totally there was something sus! and knw about mileage prob cos done 100k more thn it says wel ya win some ya loose some
Discounting the capitalisation and "txt retardation", I was going to forgive the spelling of dodgy and give credit for the correct spelling of mileage until we hit loose. It doesn't even read phonetically... so a kind C- for you.
And finally, my personal favourite...
ok heres a offer £200 cash in your hand?
Ok, here's a suggestion: Go fuck your own arsehole... kthnx! Cash in my hand?? Not only is your cash figure ludicrous, your question is not a question, it's a proposition. That means there is no need for the question mark. I get you think that because you're posing it as question of whether or not I'll accept it you think you need the question mark but because its an offer, it's not needed.
And whilst I'm at it.. cash in my hand? As opposed to what...? It in my arse? F - Epic Fail!
There are another 2 days to go so I'm sure with the clock ticking, there are plenty more opportunities for retarded questions from Chavs claiming benefits for their dyslexia when really they're just thick as fuck.
But on the upside... if it gets this shitbox off my drive, I'll quite happily take their money and respond to them in the Queens finest!
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What is it with the word BUY???
how much to by it now price??
What the fuck??? What a fucking chav magnet your auto is. Can we as decent human beings not even sell a car without being hounded by the drooling plebs of grange park, dreaming of cruising the fleetwood streets in search of young girls with prams?
ow mutch iz da delivry?
"What a fucking chav magnet your auto is"
Teach you to sell an "Undercoat-grey 'Tidy' Vauxhall Nova Convertible with Half-Finished Body-Kit", on ebay, eh?
What was the final value on the car Del?
Close.... :D
A lowered Converible Escort Injection actually... *hangs head in shame*
£205 in the end so I lost £150 on it... fucking stupid cars, I hate them! :|
What the fuck happened to your FTO?
^ Wot He sed.
Gearbox was fucked
So she had to go... I really didn't want to get rid of it but when faced with bill after bill and needing to spend about £600 to get it up to scratch for the MOT I had to sell it. Only got £800 for it too, then losing £200 of that on The Chavenator I'm a little disappointed by the whole process...
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