My New Years resolution: update OhFFS and Delmorpha.com at least once a week.

Anyway, the first rant of the year comes from everyones "favorite" online market place, eBay. Everyone knows they're absolute robbing cunts so why do we continue to use them? Why have their extortionate rates been deemed unacceptable based on their monopolistic status and been forced to cap them? How do they have the audacity to try cracking down on "excess postage cheats" when their fees are too high for small items and it becomes the only way to make selling shit worth it? Why, when credit card companies have been protecting consumers against fraud for years, are Paypal still only covering a maximum of £185 when eBay are netting billions a year in profit? Why, as I found today, when some cunt doesn't pay for an item, then lies to both you and to eBay about the fact they have already had a cheque go out their account for fees, do eBay only return the Final Value Fees, netting themselves a smooth £3 in listing fees?! Mad as fuck I am...

This all boils down to me selling my Wii and trying to do a nice thing for some scroat for Christmas. I listed it buy it now for £189.99 with Cash on Collection or £15 next day delivered via Non-Royal Cunt methods, which I felt was more than fair given what some of the scalping fuckers, including shops, were getting for them with their super bundles of doom. Within 5 minutes I'd sold the fucker (literally).

Straight away I get an email asking if they can pick it up right now at 1pm. Unfortunately, unlike the great unwashed who actually play the Wii, I work, so he gave me his mobile number to arrange a mutually acceptable time. The next evening was free so we agreed the details and all was well.

Well, it was until he's 15 minutes late. I called his mobile and get a swift hangup to answer phone, and 10 minutes later I get a call off this cunts mother.

"Hi, I'm really sorry to have to call to tell you this but we got a phone call today from Game saying the Wii we preordered was in stock and waiting for us to collect so we're going to do that instead.."

At this point I should've really just called her a massive cunt and hung up, but not wanting to get anally raped for almost £10 to sell the fucker I kept my cool.

"Oh right, well you do realise I have nearly £10 in fees to pay?"

"Yes, yes... I'm really sorry about that, we'll send you a cheque to cover your costs, I'm sure you'll sell it again no problems, it was a really good offer!"

.. like that was any consolation for the fact you're a fucking idiot, I know it was a good deal, I fucking listed it, you bellend.

"Well, ok, whatever. I'll email you with the total amount and my address" and I hung up. Having a total of 60 something positives I figured they'd be good for their word but were they fuck, they were yet another eBay Jew.

Giving them a good week before I emailed asking where the fuck my money was, I got a "My mum posted it today, sorry about the delay" bullshit response you tell every unpaid bill before Direct Cunting Debit began shafting us out of money on all angles.

Again another week went by and nothing through the post. This time, a week before Xmas, I was a bit more forceful.

This is fucking ridiculous - even with Xmas post and Royal Mail being completely useless and stealing things, this supposed cheque should've been here well before now. Please confirm the status of it or I will be forced to report this as a non-paying bidder item. Thanks for being a Scrooge at Christmas...

I got nothing back to this one so I filed the complaint direct to eBay and within an hour I had a response which was utter bullshit with a date and a fabricated cheque number that had apparently gone out of his mums account. Unfortunately the amount was £8.50, 41p below the exact amount I requested, proving without a doubt this guy is a complete moron.

By this point eBay had already taken the fees for selling it, and the fees for relisting and selling it again. £10 isn't a lot around payday, but a week before Xmas it is, especially when you've done no Christmas shopping at all.

So today I'm wondering what the fuck is going on as eBay have done fuck all to let me know that I have to make the move to get my money back after responding to him as its been over 8 days. Apparently I have to close the case, entering a reason for why I no longer want to communicate with this fucktard and then I get my cash back. I wouldn't mind but I had to read about 3 different bits on the site to find this out, had I have left it for them to close I wouldn't have got fuck all. Cunts.

And the best bit? I don't get a refund, I get a credit note! A fucking credit note against my eBay balance. I fucking hate eBay with a passion, why the fuck would I want to spend more money selling shit?! Adding insult to injury I didn't even get the full listing costs back, just the final charge for selling it of £6 something when it cost me £2.15 to list the fucker... how they can get away with this is beyond me...

Keyboards should have tazers in them... negative feedback just isn't justice enough! ;)

Happy New Year, y'all in any case... just don't taze me bro!

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