I say Britain, you say.... talent?
Been away for a while so I was gonna have a bit of a moan about Britain's Got Talent... Too late now, I've missed the boat - Instead of something well written I'll leave you with my half-baked notes instead;
This was going to be a properly constructed well written article - it's not. I watched a lot of BGT this year, Mrs lurker likes it and I can put up with it. I enjoy a game of spot the clever--or-not-so-clever-tv-trickery, so I made notes on my mobile while watching (Does this make me a sadcase or not? you decide phone in on 0906666666, calls cost £100 per second. Vote Vote Vote Vote!!!)
Here goes....
- After a bad audition contestants are obliged to invite a judges of thier choice to see if they can do better. The judge will decline; the contestant will look unoriginal.
- Once an episode a contestant will say either "This is my last chance" or "Things like this don't happen to people like me". This will then be proceeded by either 'Rule the World' or 'Shine' with slow-motion happy video.
- Somehow everybody's dream is go on the Royal Variety show. What? Where did this come from? I can't remember meeting anybody in my life who gave a fig about the RVS let alone wanted to go on it.
- 'Susan Boyle'. Not Susan, Sue, Miss B or Neil. Why the full name?
- Simon Cowell uses his trademark look of disbelief way too much in the auditions. Example - Less attractive, Scottish simpleton can sing moderately well = look of surprise. Does he really not know what the acts will be like? Really? C'mon this is TV!
- Amanda Holden exclusively communicates though the medium of tears and patronisation (a real word? the art of being patronsing)
- Piers morgan speaks on behalf of Britain a little too often. Ask yourself, does Piers Morgan really represent you?
- Is there any irony intended in Amanda and Piers judging talent? (I repeat Amanda Holden judging talent!)
- The group of scouse dancers (MD productions?) lived up to the grief-addicted Liverpudlian stereotype by dedicating their performance to Rhys Evans ('murdered' person from their city). This for me was a highlight because of how uncomfortably Ant and Dec tried to shift towards the interview to a more ITV-friendly topic i.e. how hard they'd been practising.
- Ant always stands on the left, Dec on the right. Fact.
- In the live show making the thumb-and-pinkie-phone-sign vote-for-me sign is a sign of desperation.
- The last acts in the live shows generally do better than those earlier on. Are you going to remember to vote for the act you saw 90 minutes or 90 seconds ago? Now if you were trying to make sure a voliate act got through to the final what would you do?
- Milking the cash-cow's teets a little to hard?
That's all folks - BGT = a contrived money spinner, but I love it.
I might whinge about outsourcing soon if I can get round to it. Later folks.



























Diversity
I'm not sure why everyone thought Neil (as Susan Boyle will now be know, although I'm not quite comfortable with this as it's my dad's name, but I digress) was going to win, I thought both dance groups and the soprano saxophone player were a lot better than him/her!
excellent stuff
wasn't his nickname 'safehands' or something... he he
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Hey
I say Britain, you say.... talent?
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