So I almost justified buying myself an iPhone 3G S...

Yes, Mac Hating Delmorpha almost ended up eating is words over the whole iPhaggotry debate and bought an Apple product.

To be phair, it's a pretty nice bit of kit and would merge about 4 devices I use and abuse on a regular basis. The "unlimited" data alone would be awesome for out and about surfing, even if unlimited means 5Gb or whatever O2 consider "phair usage". Of note is advertising an unlimited service then limiting that service is surely phalse advertising on any level; phair usage is surely the unlimited amount of data you sold me...

But no, even with all the phalse economics I was self justifying I can't justify spending a huge amount over 18 months on a phucking phone during a recession. I don't have an MP3 player so there was one check. I have a 4MP camera that could have been sold given the less hassle for on the move snapshots, and can say it would be ample for the job it would be doing given I have a D70 for anything other than drunken picture taking. Check number two. I don't have a mobile broadband dongle. Check three. I now need my own phone contract which was the phourth and phinal justification I needed to convince the woman this was a must have, not a want.

Then I started peeling the skin of this Rotten Apple and found the huge maggot infested iPhaggotry I'm used to.

The phirst thing is the price. I'm used to getting a phree phone in exchange for signing up phor a 12 month contract at around £30 a month. Everyone knows the service costs the provider very little to maintain and I'll take a 12 month old Korean and Japanese unsold unit not to be tied down to something I'm likely to a) be bored of in 6 months and b) be scratched to shit in 6 days. What the phuck is with the influx of 18 and 24 month contracts?!

But wait, that's not the end of it. O2 have used the "pull a price scheme out your arse" magic to also ask for an additional £185 for 16Gb and a whopping £270 for a 32Gb iPhag if you go for an 18 month contract. Grand total for your iPhart will be well over £800...

Then I also read that if you want to teather your iPhone and that "unlimited" data plan, that'll be another £15 a month, thank you very much. That's right, PHIPHTEEN POUNDS A MONTH to utilize a USB cable and essentially transfer data to another device just because it's internet traffic downloaded by the iPhuck. Utter bullshit.

So, phor now, Apple and O2 can suck my mother phucking balls and whistle for my custom. With any luck Orange or another network provider will be able to create a bit of phree market scenario and some decent deals might appear.

Until then, I'm still not a MacFag.

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