Nintendo : Enough is enough with the wank adverts appealing to "Real" people...
Beyonce, Girls Aloud, Olivia Newton-John, Louise Rednapp. Nope, not a list of tone deaf whores who deserve to have their voice boxes surgically removed for crimes against music, its actually a list of some of the corporate shills hocking Nintendo products at the moment.
If it wasn't enough that my favourite past time is being drowned in shite aimed at "Casual" gamers, I now have to be subjected to advert after advert of fuckhole "celebrity" playing said titles on Nintendos latest money printer.
If it isn't Julie Walters withered cunt mouth banging on about how good she is at Brain Training, it's Ronan "too nice not to abuse kids" Keating and his fugly family making me want to chop my fingers off, just so I can be a little further disassociated with video gaming.
Perhaps if you've used cute Japanese girls to advertise your products
(see above) I would be able to relate, but you are so far off the mark
of your loyal fanbase with this approach.
I remember a time of getting beaten up for saying you liked Nintendo, and even with the ridicule of being counted as an outcast, I still loved you. Not now, Nintendo. Not when I have Nicole Kidman, a woman who married Tom Cruise for fucks sake, being pitched as a gamer in attempt to sell your fucking consoles to the morons of society, it's just too much.
But not any more Nintendo, to me your dead. The DSi and its region coded bullshit is the last straw...
I hate to say it, but you are the New Sony... :(
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Oi!
Bang on as usual Del, and since I find myself newly jobless I may have finally got round to writing this particular rant again, but I'll have to stick with the abridged, comment sized version.
The bit that fucks me off the most is Louise Redknapp's "Look at me, I'm a Bullet Bill!" as if she ever heard the name before the Nintendo PR cunt told her to "just shut the fuck up and say the fucking line you vacuous moneygrubbing bitch".
I may be wrong, she may well be a hardcore gamer, she may have imported her Super Famicom because she just couldn't wait; or she wanted the money and Nintendo wanted some cheap mass market face recognition. I know which is more likely.
But leave Olivia Newton-John out of this, Xanadu's a masterpiece, absolving all involved of all sins in perpetuity and I won't have anyone say otherwise.
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