Case 1

Name: Kieron Saunders
Why they're a retard: Burnt himself using a sunbed for 21 minutes in one day
What the Bovine Masses want: Banning of coin operated tanning salons
What really should happen : He should be forced to stay in a sunbed for a whole day and the readers of The Sun should shut the fuck up
Hopes for the future : He gets face cancer and becomes the next Elephant Man, then has to join the circus and wear his Tumor of Shame as a permanent reminder that he's a fucking douchebag

You have to be pretty fucking retarded to not understand the concept of UV rays and the potential damage they can do to you, even at 13. It even says it in the title... you know... SUN bed... what do you expect to happen when you use an item designed to burn your skin for 7 times the length you're supposed?

Do these people go on holiday to Spain, sit on the beach with no lotion for the entire 7 days and then expect us to fire nuclear missiles at the Sun until it goes out??

"Children can't be expected to understand the risks that these machines pose, especially when they can be found at sports centres and places that suggest they are 'healthy', which sends conflicting messages."

Fuck you. In the ear. With a rusty screwdriver. What a fucking cunt with no idea about the Real World. Stop trying to wrap us all in cotton wool and call a spade a spade, or in this case, a fucking stupid dickhead precisely that.

Case 2

Name: Graham Calvert
Why they're a retard: This fat prick gambled away 2 million pounds but thats apparently William Hill's fault because they wouldn't close his account
What the Bovine Masses want: A national database allowing problem gamblers to self-exclude from all bookmakers in one go
What really should happen : He should be forced to play one game of Russian Roulette with a fully loaded pistol to finally learn the lesson that in the end, the house always wins..
Hopes for the future : He gets hit by a falling meteorite, or some other ironically small percentage way of being killed, preferably with a slow, painful death

The story also reports how Calvert made bets totally £3.5 million between a 6 month period showing that it's more than likely this cake eating fuck was "up" at one point and just couldn't stop.

I love to gamble personally but I also know where to draw the line and stop. Like anything else addictive though, crossing that line is surely the point it becomes a "character floor" and down to no-one else except yourself.

Case 3

Name: P Chidambaram
Why they're a retard: An Indian minister telling the Developed World that it is "outrageous" that we want to use crops that could potential be food for fuel instead.
What the Bovine Masses want: To "Feed The World"
What really should happen : He should shut his fucking mouth and look at the state of his own country before telling the rest of the world how to micro-manage their food to population ratio
Hopes for the future : In a selfish way I wish Pakistan and India would nuke the shit out of each other thus giving the world back some much needed industries to boost out economies... especially in Computing

Usually I try and keep my hat out of the political ring, if only for my own sanity, but this is bullshit. When the First World is striving to alternatives to oil which might also go some way to curb food wastage, how dare this fucking arsehole lecture us on Population Management Issues like ensuring there is enough food to go around when you're population of 1.6 billion also want to move into the 21st Century, be competitive in the global market, and all want a piece of the First World Dream.

India in one hand is happy to exploit its own economic environment and take Western jobs in call centers, software development and other "skilled" computing jobs for substancially cut prices because in their economy, the prices they charge are equivalent or better to the western developers. I find it a bit rich then that the Indian Financial Minister also expects access to the rest of the worlds surplus food crops for its own benefit as it continues to allow its society to explode its population.

So Fuck You India... you can't have your cake and eat it too. You can't strive to be an Economic Superpower, split your own class structure into two and still expect the rest of the us to provide food to support it like some Global Level Guilt Trip. Kids with flies around their head in actual poverty, sure, we should toss them a bag of grain. Making the Planet a Will Code for Food playing field thanks to your own population explosion and flooding the market, then expecting us all to play ball, you can go fuck your own arseholes, you arrogant bunch of cunts.

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