Today's Waste of Ink - Judged

Why oh why the fuck do some cuntwits get paid to investigate utter dog-egg "stories" is beyond me. For fear of repeating myself, I haven't got time for local journalists anymore. They hurt my brain. I'd rather spoon my own eyes out than be forced to read their mickey-mouse bullshit. So here is a summary of today's woeful Birmingham News, brought to the fucking point. And finished with a cherry on top, so sweet and sugar coated it'll tickle your balls as it slips down the throat.

"Winds bring down scaffolding"
1. A tree gets blown over onto block of flats.
2. Some scaffolding gets blown over.
3. A resident "evacuates herself".
4. An unsecured Christmas tree gets blown on the road.
*Original Article a waste of 208 words*

"Birmingham Airport 'Not Opposed' to Troops in Uniform"
1. Airport doesn't mind.
2. Their commanding officer does.
3. The airport did not get evacuated.
*Original Article a waste of 201 words*

AND FINALLY....some fucking great news...

"Birmingham Benefit Cheat who Fiddled £29,000 is Jailed"
1. She's a scamming, filthy, leech of a mother.
3. She's being evacuated to jail.
4. Judge Philip Gregory said,

"Over a period of four years you effectively stole from the rest of society no less than £28,700....It must clearly be understood anybody who cheats the benefit system for such a very long period and on such a scale must lose their liberty".

5. He's my favorite Judge. After Death and Dredd.

*Original Article a wet-dream in 235 words*

I put forward the motion to award Judge Gregory with a honorary OFFS Fellowship (OFFSF) and to be placed in the 2008 Role of Honour.

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Submitted by Dr HamHock on 8 January, 2008 - 12:39.

Seconded!!

Amongst the other crimes council estate dwellers commit, benefit fraud has to be one of the most heinous. They have the audacity to spit out illiterate mongoloids and then expect for the rest of us to pay for them whilst their contribution to society is to keep that crack whore Trisha Goddard in a job. Fuck prison, genocide of the chav masses is the only answer..

In my head, at the end of that speech, Judge Gregory says "Gaze into the Fist of Gregory" and punches her straight through the face... now THAT would be worth reading about! Maybe next time Gregory, maybe next time... :)

Delmorpha | 8 January, 2008 - 21:29
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